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Watching Man-History Repeat Itself–It’s All Mom’s Fault

April 6, 2010

Yesterday I confessed to the many love affairs I have had in my life. I have had the housekeeper, the gardener, the farmer, the construction foreman, the electrical engineer, and more. And yes, they are all the same guy, my sweet man of 20+ years.

One might say he’s quite multi-talented……or you might say he’s a tad schizophrenic, which could certainly be a possibility as the only member of the male species living with five women, two she-dogs, a very fertile mama cat, and 53 laying hens. The lone tom cat and two horses aren’t much help. The horses are geldings, and the tom cat is just….well….he’s just Fred….a lap layin’, whiny, spoiled, hairband fetchin’, anything-but-a-tom’s-tom cat. So yeah….schizophrenia is certainly a possibility.

My mom, of course read my blog. So nice to have the parentals among a blogger’s loyal fans, even if they are reading out of obligatory parental guilt and a desperate need for self-preservation. My mom–the sweet, shy, try-not-to-rock-any-boats mom–informed me in no uncertain terms that  according to my criteria, she has had way more professional types than I have. I, of course, had to defend my honor by mentioning all the roles my guy has played that I hadn’t had the forethought to capture on a memory card.

Then it hit me. It was HER FAULT I had ignored all those other guys in favor of this one. It was HER FAULT my man criteria included “fix a toilet without calling a plumber”. It was HER FAULT that no man who required the services of a Quick Oil Change car care center ever stayed on my list of potentials longer than two seconds.

It is HER FAULT that both my husband and my father stare at 40 year old broken dishwashers with a gleam in their eye thinking of all the useful life that still remains.

Then it hit me harder. Dear Jesus, my daughters are doomed! I know this because #2 has told me so. Her view of her dad has established her man-criteria. Like a treasured family heirloom, we have ever-so-faithfully passed down the expectation that our men must be able to do anything and everything and that such skill, such vast knowledge, such raw masculine talent is a pre-requisite for making the cut.

I am grateful that my girls see their daddy as a pattern for what they want in a man, because that means I’ll have cool sons-in-law. It also means maybe I won’t have to worry about them finding a guy too soon. I know they exist, but these women will have to hunt them down and that could take awhile. Those who can meet the criteria are spread out a little bit farther, and they are a bit fewer in numbers, but I feel pretty sure there are still some in existence.

And I’m just pretty sure that before it’s all said and done, my girls will point a finger at me one day and say, “It’s YOUR FAULT!”

When it happens, I’ll look them square in the eyes and say, “You are MOST welcome!”

2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 6, 2010 7:57 PM

    I love this – I too have thought of my Mother and thought “IT’S YOUR FAULT”… I will have to remember this post when I have a daughter of my own….

    And I will undoubtedly have a daughter of my own because when I was in the throws of my teenage years my Mother used to say to me:

    “When you have children, I hope you have 3 daughters and they’re all JUST LIKE YOU!” I wasn’t the easiest teenage daughter to deal with.

    Since my Mother is no longer with us, I have the suspicion that she may have some say in the sex of my children, and if God willing she does this post will come in handy. 😉

    Thanks for sharing.

    • April 6, 2010 8:58 PM

      Ah, yes. The parental curse. My husband is still trying to figure out how he got stuck with my payback curses…er…uh…blessings. 🙂

      Nice thing about not having been the easiest kid to raise is that your kids have to learn all new tricks. You probably got away with most of what they’ll want to try out on you so they are busted before they even hit the starting line.

      Thanks for your thoughts. I look forward to stopping by your place to check out your posts.

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