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Staying or Going—Today I Go

March 10, 2010

“There is no way to both stay and go.” –Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With The Wolves.

Those words were shared this morning by a beautiful soul who calls herself Ronna Detrick in her latest blog post. Those words bring me so much peace and confidence today, when I need them most.

Today. This day. The day that I take the first official step towards going. In a little over an hour, the meeting will be over, the official notice will have been given, the decision made. I am going. I can’t not go. Staying would mean playing it safe, postponing my dream, and dying inside just a little bit more each day. It would mean waking up each morning knowing I was too chicken to risk experiencing my life’s purpose. I’m not exactly sure which generates more fear, staying or going. Staying is safe, but staying is toxic.

Going is release. My word for the year. I have much to release. This is one of those things. By releasing the old and embracing the new, even with all its risks and uncertainties, I will not only survive, I will thrive. I will live. I will feel joy. I will give joy. I will radiate joy. I will succeed. The how is not mine to arrange. Only the intention is mine to create.

I have asked the Divine to grant me freedom and joy. I have asked to be shown my life’s purpose. I have been led to this moment of going. Matthew 6:25-34 gives me the confidence of knowing that all my needs will be met.

25″Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

26″Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31″So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?’ or `What shall we drink?’ or `What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Today, I go. I release. I breathe. I live.

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